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Puny Chinese MP3 No Match For Apple Plan for World DRM Domination

TigerdirectBEIJING, CHINA - Not even the unlikely alliance of the mighty American Amazon.com with the heretofore unstoppable Chinese company TigerDirect (who is also a friend to small children) is a match for the fearsome Steve Jobs.

Their Perception Digital 1.5 gigabyte MP3 player is now available on Amazon for $100. It's a USB 2.0 mass-storage capable 1.5GB 1-inch drive player, with 13.5-hours playback. Their offering got turtlewaxed by the iPod Shuffle with the same ease that the mighty Godzilla dispatched the puny Gamera, even with the aid of what must be billions of Chinese downloads.

With the Chinese hero TigerDirect out of the way, is there any hope to stop Apple from converting the intellectual property it licensed from MPEG-LA into the world's largest and most pervasive digital rights management system? What surprise role will Dan Glickman, the new MPAA prexy play, and what can he do that Jack Valenti could not? And above all, where is Raymond Burr in all of this?

Stay tuned!

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